Sweet to the Soul
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24
In a world where words can traverse across oceans at the speed of light, where politicians debate over Twitter, where news is published and reposted without checking the sources, where teachers and police officers and celebrities are caught using slurs against minority groups, where people are being shot and killed in their own homes, where debates over reconciliation vs revolution are typed in all caps in comments sections, there are so many words, but few of them are gracious.
If I'm being honest, many of these discussions can be polarizing for me, too. Do you want to know a secret that I try hard to hide? I hated people who disagreed with me on basic human rights issues. I thought, "They're bigots, the absolute scum of the earth, and the worst kind of people. I don't want to hear their opinions and hate everything about them." I hated the sound of their voices, the style of their clothes, and the arrogant way they stated their opinions as fact. I secretly loved it when someone intelligent and articulate schooled those losers and destroyed them. Whenever a vigilante for my side used the perfect insult to jab at the good-for-nothing trolls, I got a thrill. I hoped they were cut down to size, and I hoped it hurt.
This sadistic social media voyeurism was birthed out of my own pain--My pain as a woman in a patriarchal world, My pain as a Black person in a nation where Black lives don't matter, my pain as a citizen in a "land that I love" that doesn't love me back. I was angry and in pain, so I caught myself wishing pain upon those who inflicted it upon me and my people. I didn't spit out my own angry words, but I'd surround myself with the angry words of others. I'd listen to podcasts with intelligent, angry voices, read books with frustrated, angry opinions, and watch videos where people vent their outrage about what also makes me angry. I realized I consumed this anger as my education, entertainment, and recreation. This was having a damaging impact on my naturally peaceful energy, but now that I know I have been poisoned with hatred, I am working to get it out of my system.
I am more mindful of what I consume in print, video, and social media. I am staying out of all the comment sections (except mine because y'all are the sweetest!). I am being more intentional about what I say. This doesn't mean I don't stand up for my beliefs or confront issues within my power. It means that I am more selective with my voice. The serenity prayer says, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." This applies to my voice, too. I cannot speak about everything. There are some things that I need to pray about or silently work to improve behind the scenes, and understanding and accepting that difference is healing me slowly.
When I first set out to write this post, I thought the focus was going to be on the people I love and their impact on me. I also thought I'd write about the gracious words of my friends and family, who support and empower me, and the strangers I encounter, who uplift and inspire me. I had no idea I would confess my own struggles, but here we are because I recognize my need for gracious words in the most ungracious of situations.
Proverbs 16 calls gracious words honeycomb. Did you know that honeycomb is not only edible but has health benefits? It has antioxidants that protect the body from free radicals and reactive oxygen species that can alter the body's chemistry, including DNA. If too many free radicals overwhelm the system and the body cannot regulate them, it can cause oxidative stress and disease. There is also evidence that royal jelly in honeycomb is effective in wound healing. The Bible isn't a science book, but scientific research published this year proves the relevance of scripture for our modern lives and reveals just how much wisdom was in this passage.
My soul was bitter and in need of sweetness, so I created a space where I and others could heal. That is the purpose of Soul Food Mondays. I wanted to build a community apart from the addictive negativity in destructive words, where people can find moments of spiritual insight and refreshment in everyday circumstances, not just on Sunday mornings. I wanted to curate a space for conversation where gracious words flow like honey and people are encouraged and empowered to feed another's soul. And maybe we can heal together.
